I've become a poor cook since working the last year at the Jones Mortgage La Jolla office--we seem to snack more than eat a meal. However, in spite of our health and poverty, there is an air of gloom of doomsday around our house. With good reason.
Jones Mortgage and California Mortgage (does the discounts) have had many foreclosures which they have had to bring current to protect their investors and then try and sell fast to keep cash flow. It is very difficult for Richard and Bill. Besides, the loan business, as they have been doing it (requiring only equity on the home and not stringent enough credit for the borrowers) has got to change, it is too risky, and it has been hard to figure out how to change it and still get business.
They purchased two franchises with Equity 1 for $13,000 each hoping they would be of help in funding creditworthy, long-term loans but it fizzled into nothing. Now there is the talk of selling the company--in the meantime, there needs to be business--also the escrow officer quit and so Richard has had to monitor escrows--a new headache along with everything else.
Richard is overweight and obviously very preoccupied with business problems--how he avoids a heart attack under all this stress I don't know. We only talk about the necessary business and avoid all talk personally or church-wise to keep stress down.
The children somewhat perceive this gloom as lack of caring about them and the Gospel but it is not true--only preoccupation with problems that have to be solved economically..and...now! The girls both work for Jones, one at the La Mesa office and one in La Jolla. I don't think they like it all that much but both are excellent workers. Linda and Maria have both applied to BYU Hawaii and so we hope they will get in and be able to enjoy that. Jimmy is headed to high school and is fairly untouched by all these business problems the rest of us are working in.
I don't see Meagan as much as I would like but she does act as if she likes me and I adore her and wish I could see her more. John is making good money preparing the property for sale and helping with Help-U-Sell, but it is hard with his schoolwork, marriage, and doing property work.
I've decided to break the "doomsday" feeling by working on fixing up the house and yard "as if all was well". I worked the 4th of July weekend in the yard and accomplished a lot. Richard did all the hauling away of diggings and pruning, etc. and is interested in moving the jacuzzi. It is not too popular and is expensive to run but really helps my aching muscles. This week I hope to buy paint and begin doing all the hall woodwork.
In September we are going to Hawaii for a week. We have our tickets bought because we were offered a house to stay in over there (a client of Richard's) but I wonder if it will come to be.
How I miss the enjoyment I had in working with other people in the church--being Relief Society President and Stake Primary President were two very enjoyable times. It was fulfilling the way a career can be I suppose when you are successful, you could see what you had accomplished and were so filled with love for the Gospel and people. I remember my counselor in Primary saying she felt more appreciated for the work she did at church than she ever got at home. There is that, I suppose.
When you are not a part of things, you feel left out and it is easy to stop going to events and feel critical of others. Church jobs and involvement with others is such an important part of the Gospel, it is hard to separate the two.
Richard is always reaching out to help everyone but he cannot do it all and so it is frustrating to him when it does not go as planned. Problems everywhere it seems, economical, that is.
We are so blessed that we have such a lovely home to live in but we have been here almost 12 years and there are things we need to do and so little time and thought can go to that.