My Viewpoint on Matters in July 1981

     "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times!  " We are all fairly healthy--no dire diseases of any sort and we have means whereby we live ok--the girls can go to college--we can buy gas for the cars and we eat well--too well.

     I've become a poor cook since working the last year at the Jones Mortgage La Jolla office--we seem to snack more than eat a meal.  However, in spite of our health and poverty,  there is an air of gloom of doomsday around our house.  With good reason.

     Jones Mortgage and California Mortgage (does the discounts) have had many foreclosures which they have had to bring current to protect their investors and then try and sell fast to keep cash flow.  It is very difficult for Richard and Bill.  Besides, the loan business, as they have been doing it (requiring only equity on the home and not stringent enough credit for the borrowers) has got to change, it is too risky, and it has been hard to figure out how to change it and still get business.


     They purchased two franchises with Equity 1 for $13,000 each hoping they would be of help in funding creditworthy, long-term loans but it fizzled into nothing.  Now there is the talk of selling the company--in the meantime, there needs to be business--also the escrow officer quit and so Richard has had to monitor escrows--a new headache along with everything else.

     Richard is overweight and obviously very preoccupied with business problems--how he avoids a heart attack under all this stress I don't know.  We only talk about the necessary business and avoid all talk personally or church-wise to keep stress down.   

      The children somewhat perceive this gloom as lack of caring about them and the Gospel but it is not true--only preoccupation with problems that have to be solved economically..and...now!     The girls both work for Jones, one at the La Mesa office and one in La Jolla.   I don't think they like it all that much but both are excellent workers.    Linda and Maria have both applied to BYU Hawaii and so we hope they will get in and be able to enjoy that.  Jimmy is headed to high school and is fairly untouched by all these business problems the rest of us are working in.

      Since I was released as Relief Society President in order to work at the office, our time spent in doing church work is less and less.  Richard is a membership clerk and I write the ward newsletter. He does not enjoy his calling as it is all secretarial, work which I must do.  He set up the plan though and I must say our records are excellent.  Since I have such little contact with organizations it is becoming very difficult to write the newsletter, though.  I have tried numerous ways to get information back from people but unless you sit on the phone for hours and write while they talk it is impossible.  I also find it difficult to do my visiting teaching.  I am too tired at night and they all work, too, so that I can never find them at home, when I do have a little time.   
   
   I don't see Meagan as much as I would like but she does act as if she likes me and I adore her and wish I could see her more.    John is making good money preparing the property for sale and helping with Help-U-Sell, but it is hard with his schoolwork, marriage,  and doing property work.  

     I've decided to break the "doomsday" feeling by working on fixing up the house and yard "as if all was well".  I worked the 4th of July weekend in the yard and accomplished a lot.  Richard did all the hauling away of diggings and pruning, etc. and is interested in moving the jacuzzi.  It is not too popular and is expensive to run but really helps my aching muscles.   This week I hope to buy paint and begin doing all the hall woodwork.

     In September we are going to Hawaii for a week.  We have our tickets bought because we were offered a house to stay in over there (a client of Richard's) but I wonder if it will come to be. 

   

     
       How I miss the enjoyment I had in working with other people in the church--being Relief Society President and Stake Primary President were two very enjoyable times.  It was fulfilling the way a career can be I suppose when you are successful, you could see what you had accomplished and were so filled with love for the Gospel and people.  I remember my counselor in Primary saying she felt more appreciated for the work she did at church than she ever got at home.  There is that, I suppose.

     When you are not a part of things, you feel left out and it is easy to stop going to events and feel critical of others.  Church jobs and involvement with others is such an important part of the Gospel, it is hard to separate the two.   

      Richard is always reaching out to help everyone but he cannot do it all and so it is frustrating to him when it does not go as planned.   Problems everywhere it seems,  economical, that is.

   We are so blessed that we have such a lovely home to live in but we have been here almost 12 years and there are things we need to do and so little time and thought can go to that.

Lots of News About Family, Date to Move to Remodeled Choice Mortgage Office, 1987

Richard and I are still working 14 hour days.  I hope eventually the new office and new people we have will cut down on our workload.  Now it seems I just have to spend more time teaching other people and less time to work on my own deals.  With the new owner of the building making changes our office will be like new and on the ground floor.

We are moving into the  new office on the first of April.  They have painted the office and we have selected carpet, they will be putting in the phones next.  

We had $30 in overdraft charges, communicating and handling the money for James' mission is a continual problem.

Last night we went to the movie "Lethal Weapon" with Mel Gibson.  Very exciting.  We still go to Horton Plaza on Friday nights for our eat treat and movie.

We are really enjoying Michael, he is such a fun baby, makes all kinds of faces, about. 15 months now.  Maria and Mark are staying here till she has her new baby boy in March.   

I hope we can eventually make enough money to remodel the bathroom, kitchen and add a deck to this house.  We've decided if we can make it here we will not sale this house, also want to add a west window to the front west bedroom, wouldn't that be a great view. 

We took Meagan and John and the Pulsiphers to Disneyland and it was relaxing.  The new Star Tour is really exciting.  These two creatures take you on a flight in space and it is the driver's first trip so we have sudden drops, lots of swerves, bump into things, have sudden stops and starts and travel at space rate, very realistic.

John has a nice apartment in LA.  It is a 3 bedroom with large living, dining, and lots of light.  He has a roommate but it is still expensive.  His office is very impressive and he is very well-liked for his work, etc.   

The strawberries are finally planted and we have had lots of rain lately so they look very good.

 It is a real blessing to know how to work and be willing to do it.  I feel blessed for having such responsible, sensible, and beautiful children.

I pray for Jimmy in his travels and pray he comes home to us safely after his mission.

A Traitor Amongst Us and Help-U-Sell, 1987

"The one Mormon agent that was working for us  that I never have liked much and never would have hired if he hadn't persisted. Anyway, we've told him several times if he didn't like the way we did things he could leave. Well, he is leaving, he secretly purchased the Mira Mesa Help-U-Sell Franchise when he knew Dad had wanted it.  You know Dad, he is always so open and upfront about everything.  

Richard feels badly in only that the other man specifically asked that his purchasing be kept secret from Richard.  I think I am a pretty good judge of character.  I had an instant dislike for "his know it all" and "complaining about his last company" attitude.  I sent him to another bank to see about working for them but he kept coming back and really wanted to work with us.  

He and I have had several confrontations and I really held my ground and told him he could leave. Richard said he was amazed at how firm I was with him.  He would always back down and get so sweet and nice.  

We figured he was just waiting till he found out what else he wanted to try. We were right and my processors don't like him either.  I have had to tell him that he cannot tell them what to do or backtalk to them, he had to come to me if he wants something.  He could be so mean to them."

Our Rancho Bernardo Home, 1988

Richard and I love living in Rancho Bernardo in this cute little house.  It is a great place for us and easy to keep up.

A couple who are buying their first home were out to our house signing some papers.  They had their children with them and they are excited about the new house, too.  The little girl, who is about 10, told us she wanted some curtains in her house just like mine and the little brother agreed!  The girl told me she liked my house, "It is like a china doll house," she said.  Not sure what she meant by that.

I love my little office.  We have an attractive neon light so it is as well-lighted as an office.  I have a nice built-in desk (no computer yet).  I also have a writing and typing desk and Richard has a desk.  It is funny though, in the morning when he makes a lot of calls before he goes to the office, he spreads his papers on the kitchen counter and stands up and calls from the wall phone there--just can't get used to sitting down and using his desk, yet.

Update

"That Mormon agent that was working for me that I did not like and he bought the Mira Mesa Franchise out from under Richard and then he started a loan business along with it doing just what Richard was doing.  

Well, yesterday one of the loan reps from Glenfed was telling me that he and his partner had a big fight and his partner (who knows the loan business and Jim does not) left and started his own company.  They (Glenfed) had been doing a loan for them and closed the loan and did not know which one of them to pay.  They ended up paying Gary and not Jim so now Jim is saying Glenfed owes him money. 

The loan rep was telling me she always felt uncomfortable around him--"he was so arrogant and yet was one of those agents who doesn't want to learn the detail of the business so they can do it right" (my sentiments exactly).  

At any rate, I was feeling very unchristian gleefulness to hear about his plight--he evidently isn't making it with Help-U-Sell and really does not know enough about loans to make a success of that, so maybe he is getting paid back for what he did to Richard.  The loan community is very tight knit and what goes around, comes around."

Thumbnail Sketch of Richard's Life Given in Priesthood Meeting by Janet, 1992

I was asked to speak in Priesthood about Richard.  I assume they were getting acquainted with each other and asking the wives to share.   Who knows them better, right?

 

Christmas 1995

Richard's last Christmas 1995

Richard always loved being with his relatives.

We went to Park City for Christmas but came to the Hurst home in Salt Lake City for a family party.

This is Richard's cousin Robert Wells who spoke at his funeral.  He is with his wife and two of Richard and his Aunts.

This was the last Christmas for Richard in our Rancho Bernardo house.

This was the display case Richard picked out for our new home in Rancho Bernardo.  We moved in to Rancho Bernardo in 1988 and I have to sell the house because Richard had desperately put a second mortgage of $150,000 on it to solve a problem.  Otherwise I would not have to sell the house.  The first is small, I think I could handle it. Richard thought he had more time to solve the problems.

 

Richard Passed Away November 27, 1996, Funeral December 3rd, 1996 in Rancho Bernardo Chapel

At an Unexpected Time, Richard Passes Away

So many times over the year incidents would happen and we expected Richard to have a heart attack but when it finally happened, it was not expected at all!

Richard passed away the day before Thanksgiving in 1996, we were at Maria's home in Susanville.  He had gotten up to look for something for his sore throat and finally came back.  He could not find an aspirin, we were sleeping on the pull-out in the Family Room.

Maria came down and said there was nothing open to buy anything and could he wait till morning?  Richard asked me to turn on the TV for him and he could possibly fall asleep. It was about 2:20 AM.  A few minutes later I hear this horrible sound and look at Richard and his eyes have rolled back in his head and he is making loud guttural sounds.  I think I screamed, "Oh, My God", and called for Maria and Mark.  They came down and tried to do something.  I can't remember who called the paramedics.  I remember walking around and around saying "Oh, My God" several times.  The paramedics came and pulled Richard onto the floor and began working on him.  His belly was very swollen.  They finally decided to take him into the hospital and work on him some more.  If they could get a strong enough heartbeat they were going to fly him to Reno, they were all waiting.

Maria's Bishop came to the hospital and gave me a blessing for Richard.  He may have eventually gotten into Richard, too, I can't remember.  We were all crying, but I had accepted the fact that it was the Lord's will, we finally went in and said goodbye to Richard.  I held his head and told him I loved him and that he was a good, good man.  It was all so devastating.  Everyone around looked so sad and seemed to have such empathy for us.  Maria and Mark were so comforting to have with me.

The next two months were a nightmare.  All the boxes of business were in the garage.  My arms have just recently stopped aching from moving them up and down and going through them trying to figure out what to do and what needed to be done.

I can't write any more now.  I'm crying so hard and feeling so sorry for myself.

Funeral, December 3, 1996 

This is the program.  Not on the list of speakers was Robert Wells, Richard's cousin and a Seventy. He unexpectedly showed up representing Richard's many relatives who could not be there from the Las Vegas area.  He gave a powerful talk.  All of the funeral proceedings were video taped by Camber's father and are on You Tube on the Janet Anderson Hardy Channel as well as on this blog.

The Relief Society provided a really lovely luncheon after the funeral.  Sister Brundage had a lot to do with it.  So Nice.

I thought this poem so fitted Richard's Giving Life.

Zack and his family, years later,  came and spread Sherry's ashes in a favorite area they had shared together when Zack was just a toddler.  He was there, at that place, on Sherry's wishes.

After Richard's father Merlin died, when Richard was 11.

Valko Grandchildren at Christmas.

They were the last grandchildren Richard spent time with.

And now Richard is really resting from all the cares of this Earth.  Till we meet again, we will remember.